Love VS Survival

Hey y’all!

Hope you are living your life and being great.

Let’s sip tea while we have a chat about this meme. I feel as though this is a very great topic that brings up a great discussion. I will discuss this topic with the experiences and observations I’ve encountered with others. Buckle up while I dissect this meme.

What does “being raised on love” sound or look like to me? In my opinion someone raised on love was raised by a parent(s)/guardian(s) who showed them it is okay to be gentle, vulnerable, loving and kind. Someone who seen their parent(s) exhibit these characteristics to them and others. Someone who heard their parents say I love you, I’m proud of you, or ask Are you okay? How was your day?

What does “being raised on survival” sound or look like to me? Someone who was raised on survival often heard the phrases; “It’s a dog eat dog world”, “Nobody really loves you for real so you have to love yourself”, “Whatever is going on, just know you have to know how to get it”, and “Don’t show love, love’ll get you killed.”’

Let’s be clear, neither mentality is superior than the other. Don’t be fooled, everyone has their flaws, weaknesses, and trust issues. However, I can see why one would agree with this but, I can also see why one would disagree.

Here are some reasons why someone would agree with this. Someone who is “raised on love” shows affection, voice their feelings or emotions, typically very friendly, social and are an open book. That same person could run into major challenges dating someone who is “raised on survival”. Someone who is “raised on survival” may not be affectionate or voice their feelings or emotions whether they don’t like to or don’t know how. They may seem stand off-ish, guarded and mysterious for many reasons. For the “raised on love” individual the relationship could be exhausting because they are often times trying to decide if their partner actually do love them. So this relationship could feel overwhelming to the one “raised on survival” because the other person could be viewed as too sensitive. Both individuals love languages are typically the opposite of one another.

Alternatively, here are reasons why someone would disagree. A relationship between these two individuals could be very powerful and well balanced. The one “raised on love” could teach the other yes, some people’s intentions aren’t good. Yes, you may get your feelings hurt but it’s all about how you react, learn and grow from that experience. You can still continue life being loving, kind and vulnerable. The one “raised on survival” could teach the other how to see through and decipher when one is being bogus before the opportunity of being hurt or played presents itself. They may also teach them how to read body language and listen to the trembling in ones voice. My favorite one is that they teach you how to bargain with another party.

Now in retrospect, there are many stages or phases of ones life and the two that are pertinent to this topic is the time one is actively healing and/or the time they’ve already healed. Some may look at the two mentalities as the “lover” being the one already healed while the “survival” mentality hasn’t been healed yet. But then again, the “lover” may not display the real hurt and pain, they may have learned how to keep that inside and to smile through it all. While the “survival” one chooses not to hind their pain through smiles. You can meet someone that displays characteristics as if they were “raised on love” but really they were “raised on survival” they’ve just learned how to balance and use both mentalities when necessary.

These two individuals COULD make amazing couples but it’s not built for the faint of heart and it takes lots of love patience and understanding. Now whether that’s something you chose to do is totally your preference and doesn’t make you less than or incapable of doing so, it’s simply YOUR choice.

Remember to Keep It Real, Keep It Cute and Keep It Fun at all times. Be true to you. Don’t be pressed like a panini, that’s not cute. Lastly, live a little and try that thing you are so embarrassed or scared to try.

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